Agent Tiranel van de Kamp

Well...

2004-07-18T06:28:42Z

All is not lost; apparently the USS Forty-Seven won't lose structural integrity just yet. That is, Melanin has finally arrived, is sober, and much less irritating than she was the first night I met her. When I got back to the response centre this afternoon, after handing over the program for the new LMH to the Medical staff (the male nurse I talked to was thrilled to have the help, and vaguely cute; the female nurse who overheard the discussion began to drool--why? It's only Bashir, and only a hologram) she had cleaned the room! And refrained from kissing Boromir (the only LOTR poster I've kept on the wall--Sean Bean is sexy, and Quen didn't drool over him, so I can tolerate 'im).

Five minutes later:

...OH. THAT's why Mel doesn't lust after Boromir. Oh, well, at least we both have Gondor heritage. That's better than her being a 21st-century girl dropped into M.E., I guess. Not that you would know it from the amount of glitter the kid exudes!

(Yes, kid! It seems Miss Butterfly here is two years younger than me. Which is a nice change from having a partner who was older than me yet less experienced.)

Off to file paperwork on our first mission. Or rather to re-file it; the records folks don't mind if we turn in mission logs that aren't in English (this place is multi-continuum, after all) but they do mind if half the thing is in two different languages. Specifically, in Trill written in Cyrillic characters. Oh, the trials of being hexilingual!

Joined up with the Sue Support Group...

2004-04-25T20:46:04Z

The Uncommon Comma says that if I am to work in Technical Errors, I must join the Sue Support Group to keep my !!!!!1111 tendencies under control. I don't know what he said to Melanin, as she was asleep when the console went off, so we didn't have a chance to get properly introduced before our first mission.

At last, a place where we can tell our true tales. It's hard, isn't it, keeping your history all locked up inside? All the non-Sue agents, when someone says, "So, where'd you come from?" can say "I'm an Elf," or "I was a bit character at Hogwarts," or "Borgified Bolian from Best of Both Worlds." But I shuffle my feet and say, "My parents were PPC agents," and try to leave it at that. They don't want to know the rest of my history--they get enough headaches from the current-Sues as it is.

You probably have a harder time of it than I; you were/are a goddess, after all. Kind of like Alan Troven, or whatever his name is, who teleports when he sneezes. My problem is that my history is complicated--I'm from several different universes. Probably the fact that I was born in the PPC would make me slightly Suvian anyway, if there were a PPC FF.net section. But it gets a bit worse. My father was a Trill from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, which is simple enough. But my mother...she was an ex-Sue. Or rather, the older sister of a 'Sue. She was Mithlairiel, the oldest daughter of Aragorn and Arwen. Thankfully Eldarion existed in that story, which lent it some canon influence, but her middle sister, the 'Sue, was a Legoluster who was captured by orcs as a baby (how? what with all the security in the citadel of Minas Tirith?), raised in Mirkwood by humans who found her roadside, and (of course) trained by Leggy who later fell in love with her. When the PPC came to kill her, they decided that my mother (who had done nothing worse than declare a crush on Eowyn & Faramir's son) was recruitable. Six months later the first Trill/half-Elf wedding took place at HQ, and ten months after that I was born.

So I'm technically the non-existent half-Trekkie granddaughter of King Elessar.

Luckily, I haven't any unusual powers, though I did get both the trademark Trill spots and a set of slightly-pointed ears. I also got my 'Sue aunt's "Ranger" name: Tiranel. I think the Personnel registrar at the time must have been drugged or something to let that slip by...she wasn't all that good with surnames, either. They were going to give me "Telcontar-Odaren" for a surname, but when the papers came back, I was "Tiranel van de Kamp". Which, as you may or may not know, was the surname of the couple who adopted Scully's son William in the last season of the X-Files. Somehow, probably because Krycek speaks Russian, I can now speak Russian. Maybe the person who was supposed to get this name was a Krycek luster. So maybe languages counts as a special power--at last count, it was six: Trill, Federation Standard, Sindarin, Westron, Russian, and English. That's assuming Fed. Standard isn't English.

*sigh* So, now that I've spilled my history to someone, maybe I'll be able to shut up about it around the "normal" agents. I hope so.

Oh, and I'm with the Department of Technical Errors now. New partner is also an ex-Sue...might force her to come by here some time, if it looks like she needs it. We share a journal but different writers and icons.

And just so you know--I rather dislike Lord of the Rings. My ex-partner, Quen, was a Trek alien who fell madly in lust with LOTR, and would not shut up about it even when we were on Trek DMS missions. ~~Eru~~ Winds, I hope Melanin's not a Ringer, or I will SPORK something....

--Agent Tiranel van de Kamp, half-Trill, quarter-Elf, quarter-Dunadan
Department of Technical Errors (multi-continuum)
Ex-Department of Mary Sues (Star Trek continuum)

[Whew. That was long. And yes, NenyaQuende knows it's Alexander Raven Troven, but Tiranel doesn't. :)]

EDIT: Gah. My mother's name is Tarsulëiel, not Mithläiriel. How could I get that wrong? *headdesk* Maybe it was a subconscious attempt to spare Agent Lael Odaren the shame of revealing her history? Mom twitched a lot around Mary Sues, even though she loved the original Tiranel dearly...glad she's retired now.

I mean it: if Melanin turns out to be a Ringer (and I'm seeing signs of it already--I hope I'm mistaken) I shall spork something. Preferably a plant.

--Tiranel

Whoa.

2004-04-23T22:11:31Z

Just saw the strangest thing. An agent running down the hall, carrying a large royal-blue banner that said LONG LIVE THE PPC! I mean, I've seen the Morale Officer carry a "Go PPC!" sign before, and DOGA apparently has a "GO!" banner. But this was a lot more emphatic than any of those. The agent--some blonde girl I've not seen before--was followed by several agents shouting valiant-sounding poetry and marching in parade formation.

Very interesting. Must be part of the cleansing ritual to get rid of the 'Sue infestation that the DMS: LOTR and assorted agents have been assaulted with this past week. Hopefully no one else will try to snog me randomly in the halls...that was rather disturbing, yes.

And where is Melanin? I think maybe I'll just leave a note on the door and join the procession. If they wind past the Caf, so much the better. I could use something from the Coffeine (tm) machine.

Movin' in.

2004-04-23T17:07:57Z

So I wait here in the new, empty response centre for Agent Butterfly to arrive. Agent Butterfly. What a name. I swear, if she's a gibbering new Suvian recruit, I'm resigning my commission. Except that I don't have a commission...that's for Starfleet officers, and I'm not in Trekverse any more. I wonder what sorts of disguises we'll have as Technical Errors agents? And what weapons? I refuse to part with my mek'leth, though I suppose if we do something non-futuristic, the phaser rifles will have to go.

Oh, look here. Computer. Shiny red button....